Most of the articles we share with you would be considered fairly serious and fairly mainstream as well. This week, though, we wanted to share a blog post that’s a bit of a departure. Author Lydia Netzer’s “15 Ways to Stay Married for 15 Years” is featured on HuffingtonPost.com this week and it’s a great post. It’s lighthearted and a bit unconventional in its advice on how to stay married, but there’s a lot of wisdom behind the wit.
Here are our three favorite bits of advice from Netzler:
Go to bed mad.
We love this advice to go against all the other advice on the subject. The author’s reasoning?
Whoever interpreted this to mean that you should stay up after midnight, tear-stained and petulant, trying to iron out some kind of overtired and breathy accord — was stupid. Shut up, go to bed, let your husband get some sleep. In the morning, eat some pancakes. Everything will seem better, I swear.”
Laugh if you can.
In any fight, there is one person who is really mad, and one person who isn’t that mad. That person should deflect the fight. Make a joke, do something stupid or corny, make the other person laugh.”
Netzer points out that this works for both parties. The one who is angry gets some stress relief and the one who made them laugh and averted a serious fight feels good about it.
Don’t criticize. Ever.
This may seem to fly in the face of all the advice about offering constructive criticism, but Netzer has a very good point and it doesn’t just apply to the wives.
Whatever critical thing that you are about to say to your wife is already being loudly articulated in her head. And if it’s true, she already feels like crap about it.”
Learn to tell the difference between a “teaching moment” and just heaping coals on your spouse’s head and then skip it most of the time – they already know.
Not all marriage advice has to be serious in its delivery to deliver seriously good help. Sometimes you find some great advice sandwiched between snark and silliness. Check out the whole article to read all of Netzer’s “15 Ways to Stay Married for 15 Years.”