We’ll risk being lambasted by husbands here and say that it’s usually much easier for men to get in the mood for intimacy. We’ve all heard the jokes about men being in the mood 24/7, which isn’t true, but for the most part, men have an easier time of getting in the mood for lovemaking. As a woman, I think that while men are able to use intimacy as a stress-reliever, women need to de-stress in order to get relax enough to make love.
1. Make a “no touching below the belt rule.”
Dennis Lin, MD, director of the Psychosexual Medicine Program at Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City suggests this rule as a way to help build your arousal and we think it’s great. Yes, we tried it! Lin says to limit touching for the first 20-30 minutes will not only force you to focus more on touching and kissing, which he says people tend to abandon when they rush into intercourse, but it will also create novelty.
Remember making out as teenagers? Same effect.
2. Watch your husband play with the kids.
Dr. Ian Kerner, PhD, therapist and founder of GoodInBed.com. says there’s a good reason to watch the interaction between your husband and the kiddoes. He explains that our evolutionary wiring makes us attracted to good fathers and that many of his women patients report feeling in the mood for lovemaking after watching their husbands interact with the kids.
It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective—knowing your husband is a good dad will validate and stimulate those reproductive urges. It’s a win-win situation!”
3. Institute the 10-minute rule.
Dr. Kerner says that many women want to make love but just don’t give themselves a chance to get into the mood before they say “no” to their husband’s advances. Ten minutes of foreplay can make all the difference, though, if you give yourself that time.
Put yourself through the motions,” says Kerner, “Your body will catch up with you quickly.”
Definitely check out the rest of the tips in the article and see if you can use one or two of them to help you get into the mood for some passion and romance.