Losing the passion in your marriage is often a side effect of other problems going on in your relationship, but sometimes the lack of passion in your marriage IS the problem. Regardless, getting the passion back in your marriage is essential to a happy and healthy relationship.
In a post this week on FoxNews.com, respected psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow offers some advice on putting the passion back in your marriage. According to Ablow, we put our best efforts into our marriages in the beginning, but slacking off can often be the reason that the passion starts to wane.
Now, if you don’t feel well, you likely don’t edit out any details. When you’ve had an argument with a close friend, you might have told him all the details. Now when he asks how your day was, you might just say, ‘fine,’ and leave it at that. And he might be happy to leave it at that, too.”
He goes on to offer 8 ways to get the passion back into your lives. Here are three of what we think are his best tips.
1. Love is constant, but passion needs recharging.
No surprise: Everything in the universe demagnetizes when left in proximity to something of the opposite charge. Magnets do, and men and women do.”
Ablow explains that apathy or just inattention dilute the magnetism that you once held for each other, so don’t think that you can slack off a bit and still keep passion in your marriage. Pay attention, listen and stay tuned in to your spouse.
2. Cozy is comfortable, but….
Since couples lucky enough to be emotionally genuine with one another share so many real moments, they need to pay special attention to creating magical ones.”
That’s where the passion is, in moments you take to be creative and a little bit out of the ordinary.
3. Give your real-life routine a rest.
As Ablow explains, parents get caught up in caring for the kids and busy career couples spend more time and energy at work than they do with each other. To get the passion back in your marriage, you have to be willing to set aside real life for something more interesting.
Routine is an enemy of passion. In order to see your mate as the prince, and for him to see you as the princess, it helps to set the stage and put on the right costume.”
So go some place different or romantic. Dress for your spouse instead of sliding on those sweats. Show your mate that they’re worth the trouble and you’ll be pleased with the response.
Getting the passion back in your marriage may seem like a long shot, but anything that’s truly important is worth a little effort.