We all, as individuals, have a great deal of stress in our daily lives. One of the hardest things about marriage is that both of you have your own stresses, and then you the stress you face as a couple. This relentless stress can destroy your marriage if it goes unchecked. The editors at HuffingtonPost.com recently compiled their best reader advice on all kinds of stress in marriage and while all of them are good, some of them are real gems. Here, we share what we think are three really important points for helping to get stress out of your marriage:
1. Learn to accept your partner more.
One reader said,
Marriage is largely a journey of acceptance and while we may enter into it believing that we fully accept our partners, few of us actually do. And that’s okay.”
When you’re in the fresh blush of love, it’s not only easy to overlook the flaws in your mate, it’s also easy to convince yourself that the flaws you do see don’t matter that much. However, once the “honeymood period” is over and everyday stress begins to take its toll, those flaws seem to become magnified. By understanding that you will have to learn to be more accepting, you reduce the stress of finding out (almost daily) that your mate isn’t perfect.
2. Have a monthly goal meeting.
One of the best ways to stay connected to your spouse and to make sure that you both feel a part of an irreplaceable team, is to work together toward common goals.When you start working separately on your individual goals, without a few common dreams, you begin to grow apart.
The Huffington Post piece suggests scheduling one time a month that you check in with each other specifically to discuss where you are on common goals, what your next steps should be and where you’re headed next. This builds unity and a sense of connection to each other that reduces the stress of feeling like you’re two planets orbiting different suns.
3. Learn when to let it go.
This comment from a reader is one of the most profound things we’ve ever read on the topic of love and marriage:
When push comes to shove, we let it go and get back to our normal selves, because being unhappy is part of being happy.”
You will irritate each other. You will anger each other. You will let each other down. Expect it, accept it and if it isn’t a deal-breaker, let it go. Part of being in a happy marriage is knowing you won’t always be happy with the one you love.
Check out the rest of the article to read all of the great advice from readers on reducing the stress in your marriage. Sometimes it’s the little things that have the greatest impact.