Every marriage goes through its “dry” spells now and again, with the excitement of the bedroom seeming like a distant memory that will never return. Usually it does and all on its own. But if you’d like to get a little help with keeping your marriage exciting and avoiding some of those dry spells, YourTango.com’s Mary Jo Rapini has a great article this week on exactly how to do that.
Rapini is a marriage and intimacy counselor who appears on TLC’s Big Medicine and is a frequent contributor to Cosmopolitan and several other national magazines. She says,
What you must remember is, no one is the same person each day, each month, or each year. A healthy marriage helps each person grow and evolve. The healthier the marriage, the more you can embrace and expect each person to grow and change. The way a couple communicates its love changes, too.”
Here are three of Rapini’s five tips for keeping that love hot and regular:
1. The brain is the largest sex organ.
You have to start here to feel good about sex. If you are angry or anxious at a partner, you have to deal with the brain first. Anger that is held in does not create good sex or help you to feel sexy.”
So be sure to address any lingering issues and clear up any hard feelings before trying to get your spouse interested in a romantic evening.
2. Embrace yourself.
As Rapini says,
You don’t need to be a perfect size. If you have curves and hips, embrace them. This is one of the most beautiful aspects of women. Most of us have flaws, cellulite, acne, or wrinkles. These “flaws” will not distract from a beautiful smile or a warm embrace. Take a lesson from your man. Men are much better at embracing their flaws than women are.”
If you’re comparing yourself to the women you see in the magazines and on TV, you’ll never feel comfortable naked, no matter how long you’ve been married. As Rapini states early in the article, women need to feel comfortable in order to freely enjoy intimacy. Stop comparing yourself to ideal women; your husband doesn’t.
Healthy marriage foreplay starts first thing in the morning and lasts all day. Make sure you stay connected during the day with a quick call or text.”
This goes back to #1 – the brain is the largest sex organ. Send your husband a flirty text or tuck a note in his laptop case before he leaves for work. Give him a quick call just to tell him you can’t wait til you both get home. He’ll be in the mood before he pulls into the driveway!
Check out the article for the rest of Rapini’s great advice on keeping your marriage exciting. Dry spells happen, but they don’t have to come around often!