5 Ways to Protect Your Marriage from Infidelity

In another post, we admitted quite openly that one of had a very brief affair many years ago.

5 Ways to Protect Your Marriage from Infidelity

Today, we’re stronger and more in love than we were the day we got married. We have some advice to offer based on our own experience and some we’d like to share from marriage expert Dr. Pepper Schwatrz in her article, “Protect Your Marriage from Infidelity.” We hope this advice will help you to know how to work together to protect your marriage from the devastation of infidelity.

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1. Talk about what fidelity means to you.

This is an important point that often gets overlooked. As marriage and family therapist Dr. Pepper Schwartz says, it’s one that shouldn’t be neglected.

Make sure your partner knows that fidelity is extremely important for you and what it would do to you, and the marriage, if you had to cope with a betrayal. Your partner may not realize how important this is to you and what your reactions would be.”

We’ll add this point: Make sure you agree on what constitutes cheating. To you, an emotional relationship with a member of the opposite sex may be cheating, while to your spouse it isn’t. You have to agree on the boundaries.

2. Keep you sex life active and exciting.

Most of us already know that a healthy and satisfying sex life is an important safeguard against an affair. While sexual boredom and neglect aren’t the main reasons for cheating (for either men or women), it is one of the biggies. Sexual satisfaction also usually goes hand in hand with self-confidence, self-esteem and intimacy, which *are* more common reasons for cheating.

3. Keep your friendship strong.

A huge number of affairs begin as innocent friendships, especially when you’re feeling lonely or cut off from your spouse. Dr. Schwartz adds,

It’s not uncommon for a husband or wife to seek comfort and consolation from a friend. If that friend makes you feel more appreciated, well, one thing can lead to another. It’s far better to create a situation where your partner can work things out — with you. If things are tense or unhappy for a while, face the issues and work them out together.”

4. Spend time together.

As Dr. Schwartz advises,

Sometimes long-term couples get very efficient about getting their day-to-day tasks done and they barely see or talk to each other. If you are spending a lot of time having fun with your friends instead of your spouse, it can create big spaces that someone else could step into.”

It’s great and it’s healthy to have friends with whom you spend time. Just be sure that your best friend is your spouse.

5. Keep things romantic.

This may sound simplistic, but it isn’t. Romance doesn’t have to be flashy or expensive, it just has to be there. Don’t let your spouse start wishing they had some romance in his/her life; be the romance in his/her life.

Read Dr. Schwartz’ article for more tips and talk to your partner about how you can best protect your marriage from infidelity together.

3 Responses to 5 Ways to Protect Your Marriage from Infidelity

  1. Cathy Lorient May 16, 2012 at 2:59 am #

    How do YOU protect your own marriage from infidelity? Do YOU regularly discuss it with your spouse? Please post your thoughts below!

    – Cathy Lorient

  2. Rosemary May 16, 2012 at 2:15 pm #

    FYI, Dr. Pepper Schwartz is a woman.

    • Cathy Lorient May 17, 2012 at 2:23 am #

      Hi Rosemary – Thanks for bringing this up. We’ve made the necessary corrections.

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