When you’re having problems in your marriage, as all of us do from time to time, it can be easy to lose your perspective. When one or two things are going badly, it’s hard to recognize the things that are going well. If you don’t force yourself to focus on them, you can start to feel like your marriage is in serious trouble. Sasha Brown-Worsham has a great post this week on The Stir over at CafeMom.com, called “Six Signs That Your Marriage is Rock Solid.” It’s a lighthearted, but relevant list of things that can signal that your marriage is actually okay, even if you’re going through a rough spot.
Here’s Sasha’s list with a few of our own thoughts:
1. He is the first person you want to call when you have good news.
This is an excellent sign that, even if your romantic life is going through a rough time, your friendship is intact. That part of your love is actually responsible for most of your marriage’s longevity, so if you still want to tell him first when you have some news to share, you’re doing okay.
2. Your idea of a “date night” involves him and the couch.
Not all date nights have to involve going out somewhere. If staying in with him seems better than a night out without him, that’s a great sign.
3. You fantasize about a weekend alone with him.
Sometimes, the friendship part of your marriage is a little shaky, but the romantic side is still doing fine. As Sasha says,
A lot of women can’t wait to get AWAY from their man. If you still salivate at the idea of alone time with no kids bugging you and unrestricted access to his nether regions, then yes. I am thinking you are still pretty solid.”
4. He still makes you laugh more than anyone.
We agree with Sasha that the key to a great marriage is laughter. If you can still crack each other up, you still have a great tool for getting through the rough time you’re experiencing now and the ones you’ll face later.
5. Even though you have been together forever, the smell of his neck is still amazing.
Every woman knows exactly what this means. If his neck still smells like home, you’re going to be okay.
6. When he is away, you still curl up on your side of the bed.
Sasha says this is because you miss him and wouldn’t dream of taking his spot, but we think there is an alternative scenario. If you take his spot because it smells like him, your heart is still in the right place.
We’ll bet you can come up with a few more signs that everything really is okay, if you forget about your current problems and let your mind wander a little. When you;re having problems in your marriage, it’s extremely important to remind yourself of what’s still right and reassure yourself with the good feelings that you do still have.