We get asked a lot of questions, whether it’s in person or via email. The most common questions are about rekindling the passion in marriage and bringing the romance back into the relationship.
We’ve given some great advice over the years. Some of it we can take credit for and some of it we learned from great resources like marriage counselors, psychologists and long-married couples.
We recently ran across “Love in 90 Days”, a website and plan created by Dr. Diana Kirschner, who you may know from frequent appearances on the Today Show, or from her best-selling book “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love.”
We think you’d be making good use of your time to check out all of the great ideas she shares on the website and maybe even trying out the “Love in 90 Days” plan.
But here are the 7 steps that make up her plan for rekindling romance in just 90 days.
- Spend time alone as a couple (no friends, no kids, no texting).
- Know each other’s daily routines and habits.
- Take turns having formal ten-minute listening sessions where one of you talks while the other listens with full attention, like a validating therapist.
- Share hugs, kisses, and affection in ways both of you enjoy.
- Start a sweet bedtime or greeting ritual with silly or endearing phrases or nicknames.
- Create win–win (romantic) fulfillment. (Check out her two blogs on four different categories of (romantic) play)
- Act like you are having an affair with each other.
Dr. Kirschner says that these are the seven steps for cultivating the “habit” of passion in your marriage. As she says,
They are the blueprint for developing the habit of cultivating passion in your relationship. Take out your calendar for the next month. Make notes on which of these steps you would like to focus and work on, indicating the day and time for each. You can do this with your Beloved, or solo if he is not yet on board. He will be!”
Check out her website and blog. We think you’ll a lot to like, and to think about.