One of the most important things that a marriage needs is equality between spouses. This type of marriage equality ensures that both partners are equally important, equally respected and have their needs met equally. In an article on HuffingtonPost.com this week, called “Marriage Advice On How To Maintain An Equal Partnership,” readers were asked to submit their best advice on maintaining an equal partnership in marriage.
It’s an excellent article with excellent advice from couples who are making equality a foundation of their relationships.
Here are some tips and bits of advice that really stuck out for us:
One reader from Toronto said,
I would have to say that prolonging a healthy and equal partnership stems from mastering the art of listening.” She goes on to explain that listening and hearing are two entirely different things. “In order to really listen to your partner and appreciate what they have to say, you must first wholeheartedly acknowledge that you are allowed to be separate individuals with differing attitudes and opinions about anything and everything.”
We can’t agree more. Merely hearing what your partner is saying isn’t enough. You have to actively listen and show that you are focused on what they’re sharing with you, whether it’s minor details of their day or a very serious decision they need to make.
Another reader from Nigeria says that equality in her marriage comes from the understanding she and her husband have about their contributions to the marriage. They understand that they will not always be able to divide financial and household responsibilities equally, but agree that if they each give 100% of what they can, they remain equals.
Now, in a post-financial crisis society, my wife and I have had to face the reality that one of us (or even both of us) may not be able to bring much money or time to the table but we both respect and support each other for the contributions we can make (whether equal or not) towards our marriage.”
This is an excellent way to make sure that each partner feels valued for their contribution and that neither partner feels they are “carrying” the other.
In today’s business climate, there are bound to be times when one spouse is making significantly less or is even unemployed. To base equality on how much a spouse is contributing to the bills is a serious mistake that could lead to real trouble.
These two couples have found very different ways to build equality into their marriages, but each one is working for them. Take a look at the rest of the article to see how other couples are making sure that their marriages are as equal as possible. There may be one method that is perfect for your relationship.