A couple of years ago, Ed and I decided that we would each give up one regular thing that we treated ourselves to so that we could save up extra money for a cruise to the Bahamas. Ed ditched his Starbucks habit except for Sunday mornings and I gave up my monthly massage at the day spa. I bought an espresso machine and learned to make killer lattes and together, Ed and I learned quite a bit about sensuous massage, which, I have to tell you, is a lot more interesting than getting beaten half to death by a woman twice my age.
Sensuous massage is a great way to add spice to your marriage and it doesn’t cost much money.
Invest in a few candles, some massage oils and a couple of good CDs and you’re ready to go. There are some good books and videos out there, but you can learn quite a bit of technique free on the internet.
The website GooGooBits.com has a very good article for beginners, called “Learn the Basic Techniques of Sensual Massage.” It’s enough to get you started and let you see if you both enjoy it before you spend money on instructional materials. Here are some of author Anika Logan’s tips for a sensuous and relaxing massage experience.
1. Set the stage.
All romance goes better with the proper atmosphere and a sensuous massage is no different.
Ambiance goes a long way in making everything flow smoothly. Put on some soft, calming mood music to get your senses attuned, dim the lights and add aromatherapy candles. Choose a light scent that appeals to the receiver of the massage.”
We’ve enjoyed several different types of music with our massages, but we find that nature sound CDs really help us relax without distracting us. Some favorites are rainfall and ocean waves.
2. Get comfortable.
Logan suggests a hot shower before the massage to help warm and relax the muscles beforehand. In fact, warmth is key to an enjoyable sensuous massage.
Make sure the room is warm before you begin the massage as you don’t want the receiver to feel chilly as his/her body temperature drops (women’s tend to drop quicker than men’s). It cannot be emphasized enough, warmth and a good sensual massage goes hand in hand.”
She suggests warming towels in the dryer before having your partner lie down on them and also microwaving the massage oil before you begin.
3. No massage table needed.
Massage tables are nice, but few people own them. Lie on on the floor on towels or towels and a yoga mat instead. The bed doesn’t work well because it’s too soft and limits access to your partner’s body.
4. Work in a specific order.
It is considered a good rule of thumb to start with the back, then move to the shoulders, arms, hands, derriere, legs and then feet. Once the person is sufficiently relaxed and enjoying the sensualness of the experience, turn them over and begin with a gentle face and scalp rub, then move down to the front of the legs, the tops of the feet and finally the abdomen, chest and genitals.”
The point is to get your partner seriously relaxed and anticipating more intimate touch before you ever get to the erogenous zones.
5. Take Your Time and Take Your Turn
Logan says it’s very important not to rush through sensuous massage, as it can make your partner more focused on your hurry than your touch.
A sensual massage can be used as a foreplay or not. As far as time goes, it can take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. Generally novice masseuses take longer to get the desired results in their lovers than do more seasoned pros.”
She goes on to suggest that you massage your partner for thirty minutes and then switch if you’d like.
You can read her article in full to get step-by-step instructions for giving sensuous massage and then get some hands-on experience