Setting aside time for a regular date night is one of the best pieces of advice we’ve ever gotten and it’s also one of the best we’ve ever given. We’ve seen in our own marriage and in the marriages of many other couples, that a regular date night, no matter how infrequent it is, can go a long way toward saving your marriage.
In a recent article in Good Housekeeping, Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a sociology professor and relationship expert from PerfectMatch.com. explains why it’s so important.
Date night is one of the best ways couples have to pull back from the fray and remember there’s an ‘us’ hidden in the swirl of their daily lives — and really focus on maintaining and celebrating their connection to each other” she says.
We agree wholeheartedly, but many couples find it frustrating to try to schedule and keep to a regular date night, even if they really want to do it.
We suggest that you might try giving up one other thing that you do once a week, twice a month or even once a month and use that time for your date night. Give up one gym night a week, or one late night at the office each week. If you can find the time for those things and keep that appointment, then you have time to date your spouse in an effort to improve or even save your marriage.
Dr. Schwatrz says it’s important to try new things and avoid getting into a date rut, so that you can keep the interest and the motivation going strong. Failing at dating won’t help you feel like you’re succeeding at marriage. Do what you can to make your date nights novel and fun.
However, Dr. Schwartz says that it doesn’t have to be perfect (or even good) to work:
Think of yourself as an anthropologist doing research, and remember, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to try it again,” she says. Plus, even a bad date can be a good bonding experience and provide a couple with a shared memory to laugh about later.”
Find another appointment you can live without and replace with a regular date night. Make it fun, don’t try too hard to make it romantic and take turns coming up with ideas. A regular date night can make all the difference in a happy marriage.