Self-esteem and self-confidence have an awful lot to do with having a great intimate relationship with your spouse. However, it’s not always easy to hang onto. Even if you’re a powerhouse at work or have every confidence in your intelligence, feeling the same way in the bedroom is a different matter.
A recent article in Woman’s Day caught our eye. It had ten tips for increasing your self-confidence in the bedroom, as recommended by relationship experts. We thought we’d share some of the our favorites with you. Guys, these will work for you, too, so don’t make the mistake of thinking these tips are just for women.
1. Fake it ’til you feel it.
Paula Bloom, PhD, an Atlanta-based clinical psychologist and frequent CNN en Español contributor, says:
It’s the old slogan, ‘act as if,’” she says. “Act as if you are a sexpot. Act as if you are fabulous. Action often precedes motivation. It can change how you think and feel.”
Both men and women frequently cite confidence as one of the things that attracts them most. So act like you think you’re the most attractive person in the world and you just might make it so.
2. Focus on your body’s strength.
You know how great (and confident) you feel after working out? Focusing on your body’s strengths can keep you from worrying too much about its weaknesses (As you may perceive them.)
Think of your body as an instrument, not an ornament,” says Dr. Bloom. “Focus on images that remind you of your body’s power, like childbirth, running, climbing or dancing—rather than how you look in the dressing room mirror.”
3. Become demanding.
If you’re having trouble being open about your needs in the bedroom, Dr. Bloom says an easy way to boost your confidence is to
practice asking firmly and specifically for what you want during the day!”
Do this by politely but firmly making your needs known at restaurants, your child’s school and at work. The more you practice, the better you’ll be at it. The next thing you know, you’re comfortable telling your partner exactly what lights your fire.
For many people, self-confidence in the bedroom takes time, experience and practice. If your partner is much more comfortable, ask them what makes them feel that way! They may end up being your best teacher.