In almost every marriage, there are periods when it seems as though the love is gone. Even when a marriage looks perfect from the outside, it’s possible to turn around one day and feel that you just don’t…..feel anything. It’s also possible to hear your spouse say those words to you.
Romantic love ebbs and flows, but it doesn’t have to run completely dry if you don’t let it.
In a recent article for NBC affiliate WCNC, author Kim Jacobs offered this advice.
1. Meet your spouse’s unmet needs.
Jacobs says that one of the best ways to get your spouse to meet your needs is to meet theirs.
Discuss with your spouse his or her most important unmet needs and your most important unmet needs and commit to meeting those needs right away. Men and women have very different needs – things they can’t do without in a relationship. If you want your spouse to love you more, go over and beyond to meet his or her most important needs.”
For husbands, this might mean calling or texting in the middle of the day, bringing home flowers or gifts or just cuddling at the end of the day. For wives, it might mean making love more often or hanging out together doing things he enjoys.
2. Develop a daily ritual.
Find something that you and your spouse can consistently do together to connect intellectually and emotionally with each other on a daily basis.”
Some ideas are having coffee dates, exercising together or eating the evening meal together every day.
3. Touch and flirt often.
We often forget to flirt with our spouses after we’ve been married for a while, but the power of flirting shouldn’t be underestimated. It’ll regain your spouse’s interest, and it’ll rekindle yours as well.
4. Present your best self to your spouse.
There’s a real danger in marriage of giving the best of you to others and giving your spouse what’s left over. Dress nicely for your partner, do your best to stay in shape, buy some fancy lingerie or wear her favorite cologne.
5. Avoid criticism in your conversations.
Instead of saying “You never open the car door for me” say “I really like it when you open the door for me.”
“Instead of saying “You never spend time with me anymore” say “Let’s go to dinner and a movie this week”
Communicating with your spouse in a positive way makes them feel good and it also makes it a lot more attractive to spend time with you. By getting the negativity out of your conversations, you open the door to rekindling those positive feelings.
Every marriage goes through “dry spells”. These tips can help you get things flowing again!