Years ago I read a book that really opened my eyes about how men need to feel confident in order to be passionate or romantic. I know, we women do, too. But we seem to be more needful of confidence in our appearance in order to feel romantic or passionate, while men need to feel confident in their value.
I read a really neat article on AskMen.com recently that was all about how men can build their own self-esteem and self-image. The article is by stress management expert Vatche Bartekian, who gives men a list called “5 Ways to Be an Awesome Man.” As I read the list, I realized that with each item, there was a way for a wife to support her husband in that step. I can’t cover all the steps in the whole article here, so I’ll mention a couple of points that really stood out for me as opportunities for wives.
Accept your problems and make goals for the future.
Here Bartekian advises men to forget about denial (of paunch, of middle age, of wrinkles) and accept the things they can’t change so they can focus on things they can. We can help our husbands with this by accepting them for who they are, paunch and all, while encouraging them to be anything else that they would like to be.
Think the unthinkable.
Bartekian advises men that it’s never too late to work towards a new goal or even change their whole direction in life. I think this is especially important for men in middle age, as they tend to get down about what they feel is a lack of possibilities. We can encourage our husbands by making it clear that we believe they can do whatever they dream, and that we’ll be right alongside them.
Building your husband’s self-confidence helps him to feel better about himself, and that helps him to feel more virile, more passionate and more romantic about you. Check out the article on AskMen and see what the other steps are in the “5 Steps To Being an Awesome Man.” Then help your husband do them, whether he ever reads the steps or not.