In a new article for YourTango.com, which has been reposted on Huffington Post, author Kim Olver writes about the research she did while writing her book, “Happy Couples.” Part of her research was to poll 100 couples and ask them what marriage mistakes would be deal breakers for them and cause their marriage to end in divorce. Some of the answers are surprising, especially when Olver explains some of the finer details of the responses. Here are the five marriage mistakes that can cause divorce, according to Olver and her poll.
This answer isn’t very surprising, as infidelity is still one of the leading causes of divorce in this country and cheating is such a painful thing to go through. According to the poll, even those who would like to think they could rebuild their marriage after an affair said that they probably wouldn’t be able to.
Many respondents said that if their partner cheated on them, they would end the relationship. Although not every couple felt this way. Some respondents indicated a willingness to work through infidelity; however, many thought they could not.”
Many of the people who responded to the poll said that they would leave their spouse if their mate lied to them. This is interesting partly because these are happy couples who participated in the poll, but some of them take dishonesty of any kind so seriously that they felt they wouldn’t be able to continue their marriages.
For many, an addiction is something that cannot be forgiven, particularly if in the beginning of the relationship the addiction was not known or did not exist. Some addiction deal breakers were drug and alcohol problems, gambling or pornography.”
This answer is not very surprising, even though many abused partners stay in marriages where they are being hurt. Hopefully, this poll is an indication that that situation is changing.
Many people stated that if their spouse hit them, or physically or sexually abused their children, the relationship would be over.”
5. Major Changes in Priorities
We found this answer really interesting and somewhat unexpected, although we’ve seen major shifts in life goals cause serious problems and even divorce in couples we know.
Some people mentioned a major change in religious beliefs and practices could strain the relationship, some people talked about putting jobs or children before the marriage and yet others complained of drastic changes in friendships or relationships with in-laws.”
The point of us posting this list is that you can’t always be sure that what you think is a small mistake isn’t a huge deal breaker to your spouse.