If you’re married, you probably say, “I love you” at least once a day. If you don’t, you’re probably in trouble.
We say “I love you” so casually these days. I hear friends say it as a synonym for “See you later” or “You’re so funny.” We say things
like “Love you bunches” or sign emails with “Luv ya” all the time. That’s not the same as looking someone in the eye and saying “I love you.” Because we use those three little words so casually, they’ve lost much of their impact. They can be interpreted as an afterthought or automatic response.
How many times do you sign off on a phone call with your spouse by saying “Love you”, without really knowing you’re saying it/ How many times does your spouse say it without you really hearing it?
We recently found a really fun list of 150 Reasons Why I Love You, posted by a very grateful (and loved) husband who received the list from his wife. It sparked an idea that we implemented in our own marriage to up the romance factor in our daily lives.
Rekindling Romance With 4 Little Words, Not 3
We propose you try the following. We did it for several weeks and not only saw a real improvement in our romantic life but had a blast
For the next two weeks, forbid the use of the phrase, “I love you.” Instead, say “I love you because….” and finish the sentence. When your partner says it, instead of saying the obligatory “I love you, too”, you respond, “And I love you because…”
Make it Serious, Make it Fun
Before you start to panic about your lack of a romance gene, let’s understand that not every “because” has to be deadly serious or carefully thought-out. You also don’t have to be especially poetic or eloquent.
Some reasons can be very serious, such as:
- I love you because you’re always my biggest supporter.
- I love you because you’re faithful and honest.
- I love you because you support our family.
- I love you because you didn’t leave when I was drinking, cheating, lying, ill, out of work, etc.
However, some reasons should be light and humorous and of the moment, as long as they’re also true:
- I love you because you took the kids to school for me.
- I love you because you clean the toilets.
- I love you because you didn’t let me leave the house in my slippers.
These lighter “I love yous” are just as valid and just as meaningful.
The Key to Romance is Acknowledgment
The point is that we all need to hear WHY we’re loved by our spouses. We need to know that the things we do, the people we are and the traits we possess are acknowledged and needed and appreciated by our partners.
If you’re having trouble coming up with reasons, check out the list we mentioned. It may spark some ideas. RQ5QH8VDWTKS
Try this little exercise for a couple of weeks and see how it impacts the romance level in your own marriage. It’s a fun, undemanding way to build true appreciation and respect between you.