Do you remember how incredibly important kissing was when you were a teenager? Do you recall how exciting and overwhelming it was to make out with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Your parents may have even warned you about making out because it was that powerful and could easily lead to much more.
So when did we decide that kissing wasn’t as important, powerful or exciting anymore?
Having an intense kissing session with your spouse can have the same effect that it did when you were sixteen. If things are getting a little ho-hum in your marriage, maybe you need to revisit the very thing that got you all worked up back then.
This morning’s Huffington post has a great article about this very subject. In fact, it’s all about what they call “The Lost Art of Kissing” and it’s a terrific piece to help couples get some of that magic and excitement back into their relationship.
Jill Blakeway, relationship author and clinic director of the YinOva Center in New York City says that kissing can be more intimate than making love but it’s often the first thing to go in a marriage. According to Blakeway, that can often be the first step to losing the passion in your marriage.
[I’ve had patients tell me,] ‘We used to spend hours kissing,'” Blakeway said. “Then I would ask, ‘Well how long do you spend kissing now?’ One patient said ‘When I first get in, I kiss my dog. Then I kiss my husband.'”
So how do you spice your marriage back up and rediscover the lost art of kissing?
Blakeway has six great tips for getting things hot again.
1. Kiss longer.
Blakeway defines that this way; kiss longer than it takes you to sneeze!
2. Use your tongue.
Besides lighting up all the nerve endings in the mouth, it also stimulates the salivary glands. Believe it or not, saliva contains testosterone, and testosterone provides a little jolt to your libido. So ‘swapping spit’ is actually a key to activating your sex drive!”
3. Kiss heart to heart.
Blakeway advises that feeling your partner’s heart beat elevates the intimacy of the kiss and also spurs your libido by showing you how your kiss is effecting your spouse.
4. Vary things a bit.
If you’ve been married for a long time, it gets a little routine. You have a [certain] way of kissing and that’s what your husband is expecting,” Blakeway says. “Surprise him! He’ll faint with amazement. Vary the pressure, the speed and the technique.”
5. Make eye contact.
Blakeway suggests looking into your partner’s eyes just before you kiss or even throughout a nice, long kissing session.
In Chinese medicine the eyes are related to an energetic pathway that surrounds the genitals.”
6. Use your hands.
This creates a physical connection other than your mouths. Blakeway suggests letting your hands roam around a bit while you’re kissing to really heat things up.
There’s no reason for kissing to be a lost art and there’s certainly no reason for married couples to lose touch with such a time-honored way of heating things up in a relationship. Make a point of using these tips this week and see just how effective making out can (still) be!