Every married couple is different and each couple fights about different things. Some fight more about money, others about in-laws and others about strenuous work hours. But an article today in HuffingtonPost called “Marriage Arguments: Fights All Couples Have To Have At Least Once” says that certain fights are actually important to have in ANY marriage. The authors interviewed several marriage therapists and got them to talk about the fights that every couple will have to have before they move on to building a happy, long marriage. Here are the top 3 marriage fights the experts say we all need to have.
1. The ‘You Spent How Much On Pork Sausages?!’ Fight
Acccording to Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, author of “A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage”, virtually every couple differs in their views on spending and money. She says that each couple will have to hash out those differences in order to come up with a workable plan.
2. The ‘If I Lie Here With My Eyes Closed, Maybe He’ll Think I’m Asleep’ Fight, Or The ‘He’s Lying There With His Eyes Closed, Hoping I Think He’s Asleep!’ Fight
As funny as this one sounds, it’s not all that funny when the passion starts to wane in your marriage. Clinical psychologist and marriage therapist Alexandra Solomon says that the passage of time can be to blame more than a lack of love.
How someone is sexually at 23 is going to be different at 33 and 43,” she says. “Our drive is always changing, our interests are always changing and our bodies are always changing.” She adds that learning how to work through this early on is very important, “since you’ll likely be renegotiating terms throughout a relationship.”
3. The ‘Tuesday At Your Mother’s House?!’ Fight
Gilchrest O’Neill says that the balancing act caused by building a family that we need to spend time with and having a birth family that we want to spend time with can lead to another essential fight. Not only do couples need to be understanding of each other when it comes to visiting the other spouse’s relatives, they also need to come clean with each other when they don’t want to go. Also, it’s important to be sure you’re not sacrificing time with your spouse and kids to spend time with your parents, cousins and other family members.
Do read the rest of this excellent article. It’s often funny, but behind the humor is some real insight into the subjects that each couple needs to reach an understanding on before they can build a happier marriage.