One of the main points of this blog is to give daily tips on things that we can all do, right now, to make our marriages stronger and happier and make our spouses feel as lucky to have us as we know they are.
We focus a lot on romance and intimacy, but I was thinking a lot over the weekend about the simple act of nurturing. We tend to stick women with the art and responsibility of nurturing, while we label men as more of the providers of the relationship. The truth is, though that in order to nurture (care for and help grow) our marriages, we have to nurture our spouses.
I found a great article on a site called ListMyFive.com that I’d never visited before. It lists the top five ways to nurture your spouse. I want to share them with you and also give some tips on how to apply them to your spouse. Today we’ll focus on using them to nurture your husband. Next time, we’ll share some ideas with you husbands.
1. Do Special Things for Your Spouse
This sounds kind of obvious, but many times we do things for our husbands that we would like, without really tailoring what we do to their likes and needs. If your husband isn’t much of a breakfast eater, breakfast in bed is a nice, but largely wasted, gesture. However, if he usually ends up missing his beloved golf on Saturdays because of his Honey-Do list, giving him a weekend off from chores would score really high.
2. Make Sure Your Spouse has a Supply of His Favorite Treats
I would add to this that simply coming home with grocery bags of all of his favorite snacks kind of diminishes the fun. Stash his favorite movie snacks, desserts, magazines and other treats and bring them out periodically. Have fun with it. Tuck his favorite candy bar underneath the video you rented for the night. Bring out his favorite beer or beverage while he’s finishing up the yard.
3. Care About the Things Your Spouse Cares About
This is one we were all told when we got married or have since read in countless articles on marriage. However, after a time, it’s easy to forget or practice. If your husband long ago gave up inviting you to his softball games, surprise him by showing up next weekend. Be the loudest cheerleader there. If your husband has a cause that’s particularly dear to his heart, make a contribution in his name or go with him the next time he volunteers.
4. Check In With How They’re Doing
I think this one is especially appropriate. How many times do you ask how his day was and then really dig to find out why it was so good or bad?
5. Make Time for Your Spouse
We talk about this one a lot on this blog, but it bears repeating. Look at your schedule for the next couple of weeks and see where you can trim other obligations, commitments or activities. Take your husband to a baseball game, his favorite restaurant or out on the porch for a glass of wine instead.
Next time, we’ll give you husbands some hints on how you can really nurture your wives!