There are few things more exhausting or more stressful than suspecting that your spouse is having an affair. The thoughts and questions can completely overtake your waking hours and even dip into the few hours that you’re able to sleep. Usually, your family life and your work life suffer, to say nothing of your intimate relationship with your partner. So what do you do if you think your spouse is cheating?
There’s an interesting interactive quiz on WebMD that might help you.
It doesn’t analyze evidence and won’t tell you if your spouse is sleeping with someone else. But it may answer your question (is he/she cheating or not?) in an unexpected way.
There are some very thought-provoking thoughts facts in the quiz that can help you work through your suspicions and your fears. For instance, did you know that statistics from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy suggest while 45% of men claim to have been unfaithful, only 25% actually had sex outside of marriage. For women, 35% claimed to have been unfaithful, but only 15% actually had sex with someone other than their husbands.
What this means is that even if you’re correct in suspecting your spouse is cheating, there’s a decent chance that they haven’t actually had sex with someone else. In this study, “being unfaithful’ included emotional relationships and physical interaction as simple as kissing. You may hate the idea of any kind of cheating, but it could be that those “feelings and signs you’re seeing in your spouse actually point to an emotional thing such as a crush or a friendship that’s borderline or even a drunken kiss at an office party.
This is why the number one step if you think your spouse is cheating is to actually talk to your partner.
Be careful to do it when you’re calm and let your spouse know that you need to schedule some time to talk privately. Don’t just throw the question out there over dinner. As calmly as possible, let your partner know how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking. Make no accusations, but do ask them a straight question once you’ve explained yourself.
Unless you plan to follow your spouse or hire someone else to do it, you really can’t know for sure what’s going on until you ask. Yes, your spouse may lie, but they may also set your mind at ease very truthfully. The thing is that you cannot act until you ask. In fact, you don’t even know what to feel until you talk to your spouse.
Take the interactive quiz. There are some eye-opening facts and statistics that might help you reason things through. No matter what you do, though, talk to your partner.